I took a two year hiatus, but I've started doing yoga again. I was reasonably flexible in high school because of dance and drill team, but I've probably lost 80% of my flexibility since I graduated college. But as you can see by the picture above, I'm still pretty bendy. (I've also changed my hair.) I'm thrilled about my yoga class, though, because it's hysterical. My instructor is named Rrrrrrrrrrramone, and he's pretty much given me enough funny quotes to last a lifetime. These include roughly 27 "that's what she said" moments. But in my new, yoga-enlightened state, I "om"'d right through them and only laughed out loud a few times. Progress.
The class started off funny because of my outfit. I was meeting one of my coworkers at the gym after work, but I realized that I forgot my workout clothes. I didn't have time to drive home, so I ran to Target to buy workout clothes. I thought what I had picked out would be fine, but there wasn't time to try it on. So it was a gamble. For a number of reasons (namely an unintentional side ponytail and a magenta top (that kept slipping off one shoulder)/red sports bra combo) I looked like I was going to an 80s yoga mixer. Or at the very least, I looked like I was auditioning for Footloose. But I could care less, because rocking that look in class makes you look like a PRO. In addition to my normal, 2008 gym clothes, I forgot my yoga mat. I love my mat because it's purple and I know that my feet are the only ones that will get anywhere near it. Since I forgot my mat, I had to borrow one. My borrowed mat was blue and it was sponsored by Silk soy milk. And I'm not even going to think about how many feet have been on that mat.
Ramone begins his class by reminding us how important it is to breathe. "Breathe in, letting the warm air enter your nostrils. Now let the air slide down your throat like water. As you exhale, let the breath leave a little bit warmer than when you first inhaled it." Hmmmmm. As the class got underway, I was struck by what a great storyteller our new friend Ramone is! He encouraged us to be trees, then pretended we were cats, and then we were warriors. My coworker and I laughed every time we had to do the warrior pose where you pretend to have a bow and arrow. Because Ramone would tell us to pull back the bows, and then as he told us to "release" them (so slide arm up diagonally to the sky) he would make a loud "SHOOOOOSH" noise. He sounded just like an arrow, so good for him. The other part that we got (figuratively) tickled during was when he had us stay on our stomachs and rock back and forth while arching our backs, reaching behind us and holding our feet. If you have never tried that, please get on the ground and try it now.
The humor from tonight negates any physical pain I might be feeling (and that pain is considerable). Don't think for a second that after class I didn't sit in my car making a list of my favorite quotes from Ramone. Didn't want to run the risk of forgetting them on the drive home. I'm really looking forward to Tuesday when I can focus more of my attention on developing nicknames for my yoga classmates.
Until then, namaste.
