Today would be my dad's 62nd birthday. Last year we went to his hometown, took flowers to the cemetery and released balloons on his birthday. This year we're each recognizing the day in our own way. For the past month, I've done everything I could to avoid thinking about it. I've also had a minimal amount of patience and a maximum amount of annoyance with anyone near me, and I can't imagine that I've been pleasant to be around. I'm discovering that I get that way in the weeks leading up to a big milestone for my dad. I don't really know how to articulate what are uncharted feelings for me, so right now I'm bottling them more than I should.
I thought that I would want to write about my dad today, sharing stories about him and paying tribute to some of the things he loved. But I'm finding I don't have any words. It honestly hurts too much to share anything and I just miss him so much. I'd give anything if he could still be here with us. My dad always let people know how much he cared about them. He was always sending thoughtful cards and letters, and he was always there to laugh or cry with. I always told him that I loved him, and he always did the same for me, but I wish I had told him more often how much he meant to me. So in honor of my dad, I'll try to be better about that with the people I love in my life. I feel so lucky to have had such a wonderful father, and I hope he can continue to live on in spirit through the people he loved. Happy Birthday dad.
