Undiscovered

October is here! I love this time of year. A few things ...

1) I also love James Morrison. Perfect songs to match any mood.

2) I'm optimistic about October.

3) I'm nostalgic as the massive onset of friends turning 30 begins. I think I'm ready.

Someone Else's Life

It's been a weekend full of Joshua Radin. His music always makes me feel calm ... and somewhat sleepy. "Someone Else's Life" is my pick of the moment.

Yesterday was almost remarkable in how unremarkable it seemed. No breakdowns, no tears, no anger. Just sad sighs of acceptance and restlessness. It's hard to know the "proper" way to acknowledge a day you'd rather not remember. Year three begins. Unbelievable.

"Your absence has gone through me like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color."

Intergalactic

Tonight, don't ask me why, I decided to watch ALF on Hulu. Didn't disappoint.

That's it for today. 

August and Everything After

For what it's worth, this is the first post that's been named for an album -- not song -- title. As a milestone month in my life, it just felt appropriate.

As I write this, I am downstairs at Starbucks working on a few other writing projects and listening to dueling playlists (my laptop's v. Starbucks'). I'll be writing for the next two hours, so it probably would have been wise to sit at a table. But it would not be nearly as comfortable as the love seat on which I'm sitting.

My interest in writing, and my ability to focus on writing, has for the past few weeks been in direct opposition to my interest and ability in accomplishing anything else. I was telling my aunt this earlier tonight ... there seems to be a switch that flips once August hits. The anticipatory stress gets the best of me, and I tend to turn inward. This month is agony for me personally. Creatively, though, it's a windfall. 

A few random things have helped fuel my creativity lately, each in different ways ...

1) 500 Days of Summer

2) Mad Men (season 2 commentaries)

3) Julie & Julia

I can't get enough of reading articles about how the screenwriters wrote 500 Days of Summer. I'm impressed with anyone who can take the standard screenplay formula, throw the rules out the window and make an even better, fresh movie. Most impressive is that the movie gets made at all. I can't plug this movie enough. Go see it.

As for Mad Men, I watched half of the first season before I decided whether or not I liked the show. (Do I like it now? I adore it.) The same things that initially gave me pause about the first season are what I now love about the show. It's not afraid to take its time getting through a story arc, and once there it usually takes the story in a completely unanticipated direction. I love all of the characters, especially that they're all deeply flawed. Fantastic casting ... and great clothes. Very excited for the season 3 opener next Sunday.

Julie & Julia was the surprise treat of the weekend. For starters, Meryl Streep can do no wrong. Never would have expected that I would walk out of that movie hoping I could have a marriage like Julia Child's, but that's exactly what happened. I teared up at several parts, many of which were in no way sad but resonated with me anyway, particularly as this woman (Julie) at ages 29/30 made a plan and realized her dream of becoming a writer. It was the perfect movie to see this weekend. 

I would imagine that both Starbucks and my couch will be seeing quite a bit of me over the next few days. This week is a countdown to the most devastating milestone in my life, and the only thing I know is to write through the pain. I've been working on a fiction book for about a year and a half, and I put it away for several months. But I feel a strong pull to come back to it. There's an intense need right now to create something tangible, something that I can control -- no matter how poorly written, initially -- that captures the chaos of events completely out of my control. I guess it's my way of loosely taking my story and controlling the outcome. 

On that note, I'll leave you with this relevant, if not contradictory, quote from David Sedaris:

"Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it."

 

My List

I finally saw "Chaos Theory" last weekend, and I liked it. If you haven't seen it, here's a quick rundown. The main character is super scheduled and makes a list every morning of things he has to accomplish that day. He won't really stray from the list, though. One day a series of unexpected events leads him to completely abandon the traditional list and instead leave things up to chance. He starts carrying index cards around with him and basically writes down three options for any choice has has to make, shuffling the cards and letting fate determine his next move. (It should be noted that this stars Ryan Reynolds. He might be my favorite thing aboooot Canada.)

This movie made me think a lot about lists, chaos and chance. I have plenty of thoughts on those last two, but this post will only focus on lists. I love lists, but I'm not great at them. I will always go back and add things I've already done, just so I can begin the list on the right footing and feel like I've accomplished something.

I get more satisfaction out of creating odd lists than I do from creating "to-do" lists. My odd lists usually are born out of me getting sidetracked during a standard to-do list. For example, on one recent to-do list I had included the task "bring umbrella home from work." This got me thinking about the song "Umbrella," and that led to "It's Raining Men," and that made me think of the Fish Camp bus leader game where you have to sing as many songs as you can think of that include the word "rain." And the creation of this list -- songs about rain -- led me to develop my "natural disasters" itunes playlist. (Songs include: "Cyclone," "Heat Wave," "Texas Tornado," "You Shook Me All Night Long" and "Thunder Rolls," among others.)

And then THIS list put me in the mood to create a bunch of mini-lists. So here they are, in no particular order.

CLOTHING FEATURES/STYLES THAT TROUBLE ME

1) low rise jeans

2) dresses that zip on the side

3) mock turtlenecks

4) ankle socks that don't stay on your heels

5) American Apparel (the store as a whole)

CLOTHING FEATURES/STYLES THAT DELIGHT ME

1) skirts and dresses with pockets

2) very, very, very high heels

3) tagless shirts

4) deep v-neck shirts

5) any kind of flip flop

RANDOM SONGS I LOVE RIGHT NOW

1) Cigarettes and Coffee (Otis Redding)

2) Love of a Lifetime (Chaka Kahn)

3) Paperweight (Joshua Radin and Schuyler Fisk)

4) Green Eyes (Coldplay)

5) The Heart of the Matter (India.Arie)

MOVIE THEATER PET PEEVES

1) people (other than my date) sitting directly beside, in front of, or behind me

2) talking during previews

3) anyone who laughs at the "please turn off your cell phone" commercials

4) clapping

5) chewing loudly/eating gross foods/kicking my chair (these all tie for 5th)

WORDS I LIKE

1) absolutely

2) definitely

3) glorious

4) akimbo

5) mayhaps

"WORDS" I DISLIKE

1) funner

2) irregardless

3) no-offense-but ...

4) why?

5) potty

THINGS I WILL DO WHEN I TURN 30

1) pretend i was actually born in 1981

2) sky dive

3-5) decide on three more things

SPECIFIC THINGS I'D LIKE TO DO IN SPECIFIC PLACES

1) go to Canada and work the word "eh?" into every conversation

2) run the New York marathon

3) meet with screenwriters in California

4) visit my old neighborhood in Germany

5) have pizza in Italy

DRINKS I LIKE

1) diet coke

2) pink lemonade crystal light

3) green tea

4) orange vitamin water

5) wine

FAVORITE TV SHOWS (still on the air)

1) 30 Rock

2) Mad Men

3) House

4) The Office

5) Friday Night Lights

FAVORITE MOVIE THEATERS IN DALLAS

1) Angelika

2) Magnolia

3) Inwood

4) Northpark AMC

5) everything else is tied for 5th

FAVORITE WEST WING EPISODES

1) Two Cathedrals

2) In Excelsis

3) Celestial Navigation

4) Noel

5) Debate Camp

OPTIONS FOR WHERE I'LL BE LIVING IN 5 YEARS

1) mansion

2) apartment

3) shack

4) house

5) (sorry, no 5th option ... MASH rules)

Jesus Loves the Little Children

Ran across this picture tonight and it made me smile. My sweet niece left my mom a note on her notepad after she got home from Vacation Bible School, and this is what it said ...

"1. God is with me and you forever. 2. I love Jesus. Pink paper clip."

This note made me love my nieces and nephew even more, and it made me miss Vacation Bible School.

The Last Goodbye

"Every experience deeply felt in life needs to be passed along -- whether it be through words or music, chiseled in stone, painted with a brush or sewn with a needle -- it is a way of reaching for immortality." -- Thomas Jefferson

Of my grandmother's 92 years on earth, more than 60 were spent as a mother (to Tom, David and Susie), almost 40 of those were spent as a grandmother (to David Wayne, me, Emily, Chris, Amy and Clay), and the last 8-1/2 were spent as a great-grandmother (to Carly, Avery, Nathan, Shane, Piper and little Jake, her youngest great-grandson who was born on her 90th birthday).  She's leaving a legacy that is already being played out in the lives of her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

When I think of my grandmother, I think of a gentle spirit with fierce intelligence and wit. She was a woman of grace -- both in her poised demeanor and in the way she treated others. She was born and raised in the South, living most of her years in Texas, and yet she knew more about the world than most people who had lived abroad. 

My earliest memories of grandmommy and granddaddy were of sitting in the leather recliner in the bedroom of their house on Call Field Road and watching them work their crossword puzzles. I was amazed that they seemed to know so many words and knew a little bit about every topic you could think of. But that probably would be no surprise to anyone who sat alongside my grandmother in any of her many book clubs.

My grandmother was an avid reader, and she's left an incredible keepsake to prove it. She kept two large, wooden boxes -- one labeled "A-L" and the other "M-Z" -- that served as her own card catalog system. She even cross-referenced the books with cards sorted by both book title and author. The types of books read were incredibly varied, as were her interests. She had an insatiable curiosity and tried to learn as much as she could about everything. Thanks to her record keeping, she's left her family with an incredible keepsake. We have the chance to follow behind her and have a bit of shared knowledge as we read the books she loved.

One of the many legacies my grandmother left us with was her love of simple pleasures. As a child of the Depression, she learned to make her own fun and respect her resources. She enjoyed writing letters to her children and grandchildren. She loved to play games -- especially bingo, Skip-Bo, dominos and Chinese checkers. She loved just sitting and visiting with her friends and family, and -- like many members of our family -- she enjoyed the art of storytelling. (And much like the stories of other family members, her stories tended to change over time.) One fond memory that has been stuck in my head is of a summer visit to Texas when I was little, and the entire host of aunts, uncles and cousins stayed with my grandparents. A rainstorm came through, and we all sat on the front porch for hours watching it and telling stories and eating homemade peach ice cream. Pretty much the perfect day. We learned from grandmommy how to make our own fun, how to appreciate the beauty of nature, how to let our family and friends know we love them, and how to expand our knowledge of the world beyond our own experiences.

Grandmommy taught me how to cross stitch when I was nine years old, and I'll always remember her two main needlework "rules of thumb." The first was to literally always leave your mark on the canvas. You're supposed to stitch your initials into every piece of work you create. The second rule was to create the cross stitch in such a way that you couldn't tell the back from the front. You wanted a clean piece of work that was polished and flawless in design, even if no one ever saw the other side of it. My grandmother lived those rules in her own life. She left her mark on everything she touched ... people will forever see things she created, or meet family members she loved, and know -- "that belongs to Lemmie. She helped create that." She also lived a life that was "polished" and pristine, regardless of whether or not anyone was watching. Hers was a life of integrity and compassion, of faith and family, of learning and teaching, of playing and hard work. She's made an incredible impact in my life, and she's already missed.